This is the way it is when a guy says "Wanna step outside?"
You have no choice. You have to go outside and you
have to say, "All right, letís go right now." And in your
mind you are willing and ready to accept the fact that
your teeth might get knocked out and your nose busted,
or maybe since he is always a giant, heíll be slow
and lumbering and you can dive, fists flying at his face
and all the time your wife is saying, "Letís just leave."
But you cannot, it is impossible, something in your
bones and blood and brain tells you in no uncertain
terms that you have to do this thing. Your eyes tighten,
your fists become rocks, your skin and muscles harden
in a flash and the truth is you have it in you to kill
a man because you are designed that way. Your
wife hates it and loves it and hates it and loves it
and hates it and loves it and hates it and loves it.
Nine times out of ten he will back down
because he senses and sees and knows you
have snapped and someday, someday, someday,
your son will walk around your backyard
in the rain shivering and talking and grabbing
toys to mess with and will not come into the house
and he will like being wet and cold getting on his
tricycle and playing with an old fishing rod.
And someday you will be canoeing with your
boy on a river and he will not want to stop and
you two will shout at the river and trees and rocks
and sky and silence with big mouths and hats
pulled way down over your eyes and he will turn
to you and say, "This is nice, Dad, really nice."
Copyright © 2002 Dan Sklar. All Rights Reserved.